Then Again, Maybe This Would Work If You Were Selling To Squirrels

(or, “Everything That’s Wrong With Sales, All Wrapped Up In One Piece Of Spam From My Inbox”)

Company name changed. Everything else verbatim.

“Build lasting business relationships with Manassas Roadhouse Peanuts!

Have you noticed that as the economy picks up, prospects are harder to reach? A recent study shows that it often takes salespeople seven to ten phone calls to get a prospect to return their call. Manassas Roadhouse offers a better solution. We can help you.

1. Get to new prospects faster, shorten your sales cycle and book more business
2. Establish trust and credibility, before you even get your face-to-face meeting
3. Quickly re-awaken a prospect’s interest in your proposal or lead reluctant customers to take action

Since 1929 our family-owned and operated business has delivered delightful surprises to the taste-buds of our customers around the country. Take a look at the world-class gourmet nut gifts and discover the secret to getting your prospects out of their shells.”

Yes, that’s right. These people are telling us that you can build business relationships…you know, things that take years to develop, are based on mutual trust and respect, collaborative listening, conversations, and the like…by bribing people with salted snack foods (and bad puns, apparently). Greeeeaat.